Friday, December 9, 2011

Dear you [2]

Dear you,

Do you know how happy I am to have you? When the word friendship is being talked too much. I don't like that word. That is why I call your nickname always. When I see and hear the stories of how others are, I find how lucky we are. Of course there were ups and downs in our friendship. But I never felt bad about you. Because I know you'll never hurt me. Even though if you say something that may hurt me, I know you didn't mean it. But it never happened from you. I really think there was something from me because I'm not that good in predetermining how my words would interpret. But those are just words. May be one can think of something and when put into words they may come with another meaning. That can happen. And it happens often with me. But as I told before they are just words. Who can read other's mind? I was always happy when with you. Smoking those weeds and listening to your mad ideas.

I always felt happy when you won something. I was always proud of you. I felt happy even when we both tried and only you succeed. Because I never felt lost when victory was with you. But you know some bastards are there. They will come and tease the one who failed, telling he is jealous of the other. They just want to ruin a friendship. You know such people exists. And I hate them. I'm telling you all these because some people made me mad doing all this. And I hate people who make mean comments. You know they just do it to hurt us. And there are some people who even make mean comments before the dining table. I have no idea how much money I owe you on account of the food we ate. But whenever I'd money I used spend it. I know there is no meaning in saving it for future. No one can say we will be alive tomorrow. We are some souls meet in a small space for a small time. So why would one quarrel for such silly matters. But it hurts me when people say about the bills they paid weeks ago. And I hate those people who keeps the things we said carelessly or as jokes and later mention them. Now I know how good you are as a person. And there are people who watch whatever we do and interprets our deeds according to their weird thoughts. They are the most dangerous. They will say things we can't even imagine. I love you so much because we were never like that.

And there was never a competition between us. I think that is the main point. I've seen friendships break just because of it. We never felt that one of us is superior to the other. And another thing is that we never made fun of our parents. There are lots of people who do that telling their friendship is very strong and they don't feel anything doing so. But I don't believe that. Who won't feel sad when one calls bad words on their parents? And if you watch them you can see that their friendship won't survive much time. And I don't understand how people can hurt us and still talk to us as they didn't do anything. Or as they-did-something-and-they-don't-give-a-damn manner. When I get the feeling that I might have hurt you I won't be able to look at you. I'll be feeling guilty. And when I'm really hurt by somebody I can't even say a word.

But one thing I'm afraid of is the situations such you are in trouble and sad. I won't have any idea what to say to u. How to comfort you. I have always found me searching for words in such situations. Or I'll say something very frank. It will be practical but it would be the worst thing one can say at that time. And I apologize if I'd failed in such situations. And it was easy in my case. When I was sad. I just had to look at you. You have a cute funny face. Don't laugh assole. I'm telling the truth. And the things you do will make everybody laugh. I'm happy to have such a wonderful friend.

Several times we had thought we lost the heat of it. When the distance became larger and when the routines changed. But we never gave up. I think it is only because of you, it still survives. You are too good. I wish if everyone has a friend like you. And a friendship just like ours.

I was in hell of a mood. Feel better now. :) And there is a lot of I's me's and you's. Don't think I'm boasting off something. Everything in this world makes me feel too small. And I feel we are still children. And as somebody told. There is no seven wonders to a child. There are seven million. And you and our friendship are among them.

Loving you,

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

You, me, Revolution and Love

It is very calm and quiet today.
Yes I noticed.

The climate is also nice.
Yes I wish if I could run out and play.

It is sad that we are statues.
Don't ever remind me that.

I wish one day there will be a revolution to free us.
No. Human beings will never understand our pain.

Because they don't know that "Everything has a shape has a soul too".

But I still dream about revolution.
Do you believe in revolutions?

But not me. They will never be such an equality. Poor will be poor. Rich will be rich.

What I believe is in social equality. Not financial. It can be achieved even there is no financial equality.
Me too thought of it. I hate everyone who discriminates others on the basis of cast, creed, race or color.

Hmm.. You look very bad. Those people don't even mind putting color on us these days.
Yes. I know. I saw it.

I used to watch us on the reflections of those vehicles' glasses.

Look at those people. Everything changed. The way they speak, dress, live..
Yes. It changes very fast now.

Do you see that old couple? On that corner.
Yes I do.

You see they still hold their hands. Its been 30 years. Still.
Yes. Everything changed. But not LOVE.

I wish if I could kiss thee.
I wish if my dream comes true.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

You name it [4]

This world is a big hospital
All the people are sick here,
rotting and dying.

Lets get out of here.

We go to the terrace,
me in my white shirt
and you in your light blue salwar
sun setting behind us.
your toes on mine,
You stand there,
completely in my arms
and your arms around my neck,

I love you,
you whisper through your fingertips.
and I respond with a smile.

Then you kiss me
Slowly, gently,
all the whole world melt between our lips

Thats the plan.

Monday, October 10, 2011


The fear I feel when I look down from a suicide point,
The heartbeat I skip unknowingly when I see a huge waterfall,
The calm feeling I get watching the tides on a sunset,
The happiness I feel when I win those little things..

Everything remind me of you,
sometimes as the fear of losing you.
sometimes as the happiness of having you.

May be,
I have only one emotion.
That is You.


He/She was helpless. He/She couldn't take it anymore.
He/She was too weak to deal with it.

He/She put an end to it
He/She didn't know that there were better ways to deal their problems.

I wont blame him/her.
People talked about the tragedy. Did a psychological study. Published papers. 

Nobody cared him/her much. People on this earth are very selfish. They don't have time to care for others.
They seem to be on an important game. Just to win a horrible death at end.

A friend's friend committed suicide. Please pray for his soul. Thank you.

Monday, August 15, 2011

You name it [3]

I thought:

You are thinking I am busy.
and I am ignoring you.
That you are no more there in my thoughts.
But the mistake was your's.
And so on.


Our eyes met,
and froze for a few seconds.


All thougths vanished.
And there were only regrets.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I wish

I could see it coming. Always
Even before it hit me.
And I was afraid of it, Always.
But you have kind of saved me,
Or I must say you have saved me, Always

But I'm still afraid of it.
What if I had failed,
what if you couldn't save me,
For once.

I know I must be strong.
But I dont know how to fight,
Or with whom.

But, when my face turns white,
My heartbeat almost reaches my ears,
My legs refuse to move,
And, I feel a lump in my throat,
I can only wait, For you,
To come and save me.

I wish I were stronger,
At least as much, people presume of me.

Saturday, July 16, 2011


Its when you really want to live you realize the death
And at the moment you realize death, you lose all your youthfulness
There is no life then,
Its just waiting, killing time.
I wish if I could, live happily and forget death.
I never knew, still I dont know, neither I think I ever will,
Find, why the thoughts of death always end in you.
I always thought of death as departing you.
Time has given you a lot of faces
And sometimes I get confused who are you in those.

I've lots of incomplete posts in my lap. The thing is they will remain same. So posted one.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The reason behind your silence [3]

Do you remember the day we met last time?
I do remember it. Clearly.

You ever knew? that would be the last?
or it was just me who had felt it that way?

We know. It wasn't a proper one.
May be, we had to end it that way.

I could see in your eyes that, you wanted to say something.
You even started to say something.

I could see your lips parting to say,
But I wasn't listening.

I was already started my walk
To far-off, forever.

I could see your long beautiful hands moving,
Telling me to hold on for a second. It stopped in halfway.

I saw your big round eyes stopped searching for me,
And fixed the gaze on the bare earth. Cursing the humankind.

That was the silence you have started.
But it was then you really started talking to me.

I am happy that you didn't tell anything that day.
Because I can, now imagine so many things you might have.

you know? you still talk a lot different things,
whenever I think about what it would have been.

Was it just a sorry?
or just the reasons we already knew.

Ah.. You wanted a proper goodbye?
No.  You know there was none.

Or you just wanted to slap me?
For ending everything in this way.

Or just wanted to hug and cry?
Not realizing what is happening around us.

I still couldn't reach in any conclusion
about, what was happening between us.

I still don't know, anything.
Anything other than the versions they made.

All I want to say is that,
We could have talked, talked about it.

And settle it down as we knew,
The end would be this and only this.

But we never shared what was in our mind,
Even though we shared similar thoughts.

If we would have, It could have saved,
Lots of our tears and sleepless nights.

And if we would have, you could save that smile,
The smile, which vanished with us.

Nowadays I feel your smile more artificial and moronic!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

My weired dream

I was sitting in my room. It was half past ten.

I took a piece of paper and wrote names of books I want to buy. They were Looking for Alaska, East of eden, The perks of being a wallflower, Norwegian wood, Brideshed revisited and Blood meridian. I put that paper on my desk and went to bed. At that time CIA was chasing Bin Laden. Laden was running. He was running through banana trees. CIA after him. Laden was in his typical Afgan dress. He seemed to be smaller than in his pics. He had his trademark beard. And he was running. CIA was in khaki police uniform! With AK-47s. The entire scene looked like the one in a comic book Pratheek give me. Which was about Vietnam war. Except Bin Laden.

And somehow Laden got into my room!! And he took the piece of paper which I wrote the names of books. He was searching for pen I think. But he didn't get it. And CIA got very close. He jumped through my window (I still couldn't figure out where those iron grills gone). CIA was shooting him. He jumped the fence-wall at backside of my house. CIA tried to shoot him again. But he escaped. CIA guys cannot jump over the fence!! I could clearly see Laden hiding in those clay bricks.

Suddenly the scene changed. It was not my neighbor's land at the backside, now there is a mosque. But they didn't let him get inside. I wondered why. He tried to get into a few houses also. One house owner let him in. CIA couldn't find him. But they surrounded the whole area.

A few days Laden lived in that house. But the house owner's son didn't like it. So he betrayed laden. CIA came and shoot him to death.

While they were searching in his body they found the paper which I wrote the names of books. I don't know how they found that it's mine. But they caught me and arrested me.

You know. It happened before. They arrested me before. But whenever they did, they couldn't take me to jail. I woke up on the way to jail.

What a weird dream.

PS : This is just a weired dream. I apologize if it hurts any body's religious or any of other feelings. I neither love nor hate Laden. But I'm sad that he died. And I don't know why.

Monday, May 2, 2011

You and me [2]

We fight each other
Because we are hurt by our silence.

And the hurt may turn to hate
because we miss each other so badly.

All these because of we love each other.
Then why should we fight in the first place.

This way or No way.

If you think she loves you, then love back.
if not, let her go and get another one.

If you are enjoying and are happy with some people,
then make them your friends.
else, find somebody else.

if you don't know whether u like a job or not,
do it, then you will get to know.

if nothing works for you,
Change yourself.
else just don't give a damn.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


A yogi came in my dream.
He smiled.

I didn’t smile back.
He asked me why I am angry with him.

I told him that, “I don’t like people like you. You say the ultimate truth is before our eyes. You ask us to look carefully. But you people never tell us what is it. I tried. but I couldn’t see anything. Why can’t you just tell us? The truth.

He smiled and replied.

If I tell it, you wont believe it, Because it is that simple. You will ask “is it?”. But if you search yourself and find it, you will know how simple and how great it is.

I didn’t know what to say. At the moment I started to say something, he vanished before my eyes.

Note 1 : Now you know one thing about the universal truth. It is simple.
Note 2 : I lied. I didn’t see this  dream. I simply wrote it.
Note 3 : I’m not mad.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Random thoughts [3]

I was waiting for Rizpa, its then this big bull came to the road. It stood in the middle of the road, not minding the traffic. I missed that snap. I terribly wanted a good cam with me. I was going to coimbatore after my cousin's engagement. I'd to meet Rizpa too.I'd a good chat with him about his new crush[roomie note it]. After a while he dropped me at the KSRTC bus stand trissur. Coimbatore bus was waiting for me. I got in and searched all the seats in a glance. The seat near conductor's was free. I jumped in and settled there. It's after a five minutes this guy showed up. A fat one. The seat was small as it can hardly accommodate two medium sized ones. Our guy didn't even care that the seat is for conductor and sat beside me. It became very difficult me to sit there. Bus started moving.

I told you before right? I love traveling. When I'm boarded, the only thing I'll be worried about is that the destination is getting nearer. The journey is going to end there. The guy who sat near me didn't even smiled at me. He started eating something. So I didn't want to disturb him either. I'm telling you, you should tell a hi/hello to the one sitting next to you in bus/train or whatever. In these days nobody does that. I always felt like jailed in bus/train when I was travelling alone. When someone is talking to you then its something else. You wont feel lonely. You wont be bothered about the time. etc.

I was thinking about something. You know it's not my mistake. According to "The monk who sold the Ferrari" there are about 60k thoughts going through our mind everyday. Bus passed a beautiful girl. Face of a girl whom I saw last day in bus came to my mind. She was gorgeous. I fell in love at the first sight itself. I am sure if I was there in that bus a few more minutes I would have proposed her. And I regret about the 30 minutes I was with her for not to do so. Well. Anyway she was not from my religion. But.. Oh just forget it.

It started to rain. I could smell that smell of fresh sand. I hate people telling I love rain n all. Who doesn't love rain? The girl's face came to my mind again.

I started thinking about the marriage. Well I have no plan for one soon but you know. One might have some doubts.

What if she won't listen to me? What if she wear dresses I can't accept. I mean much exposing ones. I found this one as the most important and annoying one. Girls do wear exposing ones to attract boys? Well I don't think no good boy will come to her with any good intention seeing that. A boy know where a boy will look in a girl and for what. Thats why he tell his gf or wife to dress neatly. But it always end up in fight as girl telling "Don't act like my dad".

If a girl doesn't get respect and just getting hits then is just the flesh. Its a matter of money then. [I'm not insulting any of my female readers. With all my respect I'm telling you to take this positively. I'm not anyone to advice you on your dress. Its just my opinion.]

What if she doesn't like my parents?, What if she doesn't like my friends? What if.. What if.. I gave up. Rain stopped.

I found my self thinking about marriage again. How can you marry one whom you don't know. The girl's face came to my again. I didn't knew her before. So it was just lust then. So there is no such thing as love at first sight.

Six months will be enough. I thought; to know one better[Sometimes I felt like one lifetime wont be enough]. A friend's words came to my mind. She said this after having a fair friendship of two years.

"I like chatting with you, talking with you, Walking with you and etc. But thats it. Nothing more than that. I cant think of any other way." Having known each other for more than two years she couldn't love me. Then how can I expect one who doesn't know me at all to fell in love with me because of a knot around the neck? Or is it like that? Is it just an adjustment?

I was happy as it rained. When I rains the leafs n all becomes real green and roads become sexy black. I love it. I was smiling simply.

To tell you the truth, I fell in love with life. I know whats going through your mind. Well. let me explain. Do you smoke? If not, I don't think you'll understand it. The more you smoke, the more you'll understand.

Suppose you are sitting alone. And you are smoking. You had a couple of cigarettes and you are smoking the last one. And you are taking the last puff. You will die for a few more puffs. You'll terribly want some more. If you really enjoy smoking.

Its same in case of life.

When you become crazy for life. Dying to get a few more happy moments always, Then you are said to be in love with life. It doesn't matter, whatever phase you are going through. You'll enjoy it. We all know. Without sadness there is no value for happiness.

One nice girl was standing at the front end. But I was day dreaming too much and forgot about her. At the time I get back to her, she had already established a full duplex connection with somebody else from the back row.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A bunch of losers

Its because we love, We feel hurt. Its because we love, we miss each other. Its because we love we doubt that other one is ignoring us. Yes its because we love, we end up in breaking. Every time it starts with a communication breakdown. so always talk to them and clear your part. Even if nobody is listening. Because you wont regret in future as "I could have told her/him".

Heck. Be a loser.

I was thinking about us. Losers. Look around. All you can see is us. But do you know we control the world. We lead the world. We tell stories, we make films, we write books and we help others.

You might be confused. Well. Let me explain. Let's start with books. Somebody ditch someone. He/she get disappointed. Waste so many time thinking about the other one. Lots of dreaming. Then he/she write something. It becomes an epic. Films: we lose somebody in a very bad way which we cannot just accept. We wish it should never happen to others. We want to tell others our story. Thus we become directors. But you know how this books and films do well? We, the losers, go to films and watching them we say "Its my story". Let's see how people become political leaders. Most of them are born in poor families. No food, no electricity, no water, no nice dresses etc. They had dreams. But they see some people enjoy all the luxury in the world. They want to fight for their rights. They know pain so they can understand other's too. They become leaders. [Rest we can guess]. And some others, they are born in wealthy families. They cant understand why some people can't have what they are having. They try to help others. Losing everything they have. Thus they becomes humanitarians.

You know we losers are the reason for all existing goodness in the world. What is others doing? They are making money. Screwing girls. Hurting other people for time pass and fun. Those winners you know, they are the reason for all bad things. They read books just to get idea for winning girls, cheating others and becoming billionaires. They don't care how others live.

So who's better? us. Right?  Poor you. Can't you hear it? they just called you a loser again. So wake up. become a winner. This earth belongs to them. Roomie think twice before commenting. because if there is a rally of losers, you must be the one who should hold the flag. You know it. Right.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Random Thoughts [2]

I was thinking about it all time. Or I terribly wanted it. A little sister. A tiny little one. I still remember the day Neha hugged me, When I was about to leave their house. She was very affectionate kid. Its Lamiya who made me think about it again, When I went to write supplies. She would come to my room, sit on me or anybody who is lying in the bed and start talking. She is very smart girl. When she is talking to u, she will hold your hand or put her hands around your neck. That kills me.

 I have an elder sister. And I hate it. I don't think anybody will like elder sisters or brothers. Unless they are giving lots of money and all. They will scold you if you do any mistakes[Or whatever you do]. They will advice you when needed or not. They will never support you if you are doing any crazy things. Like bunking classes etc.

 But younger ones are not like that. The tiny little ones. When mom scold you and you are sad or crying they will come to you, sit next to you on bed. They wont tell a thing. But all of a sudden they will hug you, put their arm around your waist. That kills me.

 But there is no way to get one now. So I thought of a daughter. I have no plans to get married soon. Then how? I thought about adopting one. I can get really crazy sometimes. I always imagined it. Walking with her, telling all the names and stories about the things which comes our way. Going to park, Going to the beach and sit on that highest rock near the beach and telling her stories, parables [Once I told this idea to one of my friend. I was very excited telling all this. But she was just killing time. May be I share too much crazy things with girls.] etc.

 What made me write this now is I just finished "The Catcher in The Rye" by J.D Salinger. In which the main character has described about his little sister. It really touched me. I like children very much. Yeah everybody do. I know its not a big deal. Well. I don't know how to tell you.
 Its boring nowadays. I want to go back to Bangalore. Seeing me simply sitting here, mom sends me to all the marriages and receptions. I hate to go to any parties. The thing is I wasn't around home for last few years. So I don't know anybody and the people I knew changed alot in their physical appearance. People come to you and ask 'do you know me?' And we will give a smile back as an acknowledgement of recognition. But then they ask you to tell their name. Huh there it starts. Within hours you'll get complaints through your mom that her son don't remember these people.

 Sometimes it makes you sad. Last week, I'd been to this party. And one girl jumped in front of me and called my nickname[Which, only my family members call me. A few friends also call that. But I don't like too many people call me that.] and asked me how are you n all. I was like - I knew her. But I couldn't remember her name or where I'd met this girl. She was smiling. But seeing my confused face she told her name and place we were together. Still I didn't get it. Her smile faded and she told she is in kinda hurry n all. It killed me. She was really happy and all and I couldn't even get those goddamn old memories from my old brain tapes. It really depressed me. So later I went to her and had a conversation. I think it made her a little happy. That's the end of it. I told mom I wont be going to any functions in near future.

 Didn't I tell u? I disconnected my Internet connection. Now I have lots of time. I already finished two books in Jan. Now reading the third one. And the TV sucks as usual. India lost the match and there was this interesting debate in NDTV about reading. Some fear this paperback books are in danger. Nobody will be reading them in future. Everybody will buy an Amazon Kindle. What the ****. I hate this kinda debates. Nonsense. I don't think any gadget will give you the pleasure of reading a hard copy. May be some of you have different views. But I hate this Barka Dutt. I told you before. On the day of Ayodhya verdict. She is incarnation of Satan. We shouldn't use that s* word often. Because the more we use it the stronger he becomes. :P

Wish you all happy Republic Day. Peace.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Life - In Past, Present and Future

His mom was teaching him lessons about God.

Boy : So. We can ask anything to God? Will he give anything?
Mom : Yeah. He'll. If you deserve it.

Boy : We can't see him, we can't hear him. We can only give prayers?
Mom : Yeah. But we can feel him.

Boy : What if I want to write something to him?
Mom : You can write it and just burn it. He'll get it.

Boy : But.. Without address?
Mom : U don't need any address. He'll get it. Think of him when u burn it.

Boy : Huh! so we can send anyone letters like this? just thinking of them and burning it.
Mom : Yeah you can.

Boy : How many letters I can send?
Mom : As many as you want. Until u are grown up. God will read only children's letters.

He thought a lot of time what to ask. At last he sent a letter to God asking for Chocolates. And he believed that it was God who send him Chocolates with his uncle.

After Twenty years. Now he is grown up and God no more read his letters. He was calling her, messaging her. But he didn't get any answer. So he decided to write a letter. Even though he didn't have an address.

Are you there? alive? why not answering my calls? No reply for messages?

I was thinking about us. Our relationship. Which you call as friendship and I call as something else. I know you really don't want to answer my phones and messages. Last day I tried to figure out what really happened between us. We were never friends. I can see a colorful past long long ago but still we weren't. It started where it seemed to end. You had a little problem with you. You didn't have anybody to share it or help you. You were going through a real tough time in your life (or it seemed like that to me ), so tried to help you. Or at least tried to give you a company. Thought it'll keep you from crying and help you to take your decisions. What I did was a good thing, ain't it? I don't think you loved or liked me. I don't think you'll do either. I was kind of comforting thing for you. During your tough times. You told me your problems, I listened. You shared your likes and dislikes, I listened. I suggested some too. You didn't like some things I said. To be specific, some words. May be some sentences too.

But you wanted my company hence ignored them. Sometimes you changed the subject, sometimes you waited for me to change it. (Do you feel discomfort because I use the word "you" often? I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you or ending as you did everything.) I think I've seen almost all the phases you went through during this. I know you tried to hide a lot. But I could guess those. Because its not first time I'm doing it. Do you remember you used to call me and just cry? not even telling a hello. Now I see my calls are not answered. My messages are not replied.

I can see how happy you are now. Now you don't have any problems to share. That means you don't need me anymore. No no. Hold on. Just don't say I'm mad and go away. As you always do. What I told is right. You know it. I don't think you'll do it but I'm sure you thought about it. I can see how disturbed you are hearing about me. I don't believe in stick on to something without a cause. You can apply the same thing on me too. But you've to decide. I think its the right time. Right when one's jokes are crossing the limits.

Didn't I tell you? Everybody forget things very fast. The only thing people remember is how one behaved to them for the last time, Not the times before it. That's how the love which seemed to be eternal turns hate.

You know. I was like this. Always. It was your needs and situations created a good past and bad present in my life. Remember I'll be like this. In future too.

Monday, January 3, 2011

A train journey with Roomie!

Girl : Randeep, Do you know one thing?
Me : ?
Girl : You know what is the best comfort on earth?
Me : ?
Girl : The one you didn't have it yet. Woman.
Me : !
Girl : And you will never have it.

[Was she cursing me? something broken to pieces inside me when I heard it. Like a glass broken into thousand pieces. But I never tried to rearrange it and show her I can be thousand times better. I never felt a need for one. My friends and work kept me from loneliness. But last few weeks I've been missing something. That's why I said yes when Nibul gave this idea.]

Railway stations are very Romantic place, ain't them? We were coming back to Trissur from Ernamkulam after submitting some documents for Nibul's Dubai Transit Visa. It was at south railway station we spotted her. She was in a blue jeans and well, I forgot about the tshirt. It wasn't her dress that grabbed the attention but her shoes. A new pair for blue shoes. Like the ones boys wear. And her brown colored bag on which something was written. I don't remember that too.

She was tall. May be a five feet five inches, fair. She had a mole on the left of her nose near the eye and that will be the first thing you'll notice when you look at her.

We left her and went to buy some books. Bought one Tehelka which was featuring some Tiger issue[Good one to kill time re]. Then we returned to train and was looking for the seats, we saw her sitting alone in a sleeper berth near the window.

We[Me and Nibul ] looked each other and saw the same light in each others' eyes. We got into her compartment and headed to her.

Me :  Is there anybody here?
She : !@$%^ [Not audible]

Me :  [Repeating again]
She : I don't know. [it followed a smile.]

I sat opposite to her and Nibul near the window on the side berth and started reading Tehelka like a nerd.
I was thinking what to do. At that time I got a message. It was from Nibul. It started as this.

Nibul : Start "Mission Chick"  5minutes after the train starts!

When I was reading it one man who seemed to be on early forties came and sat between me and her right opposite of her. He was on his Lungi[Dhoti]. So now two lower berths. On one she was sitting near the window. On the other one Lungi man sitting opposite to her near the window and me on the other end of same berth with him. And Nibul sitting and reading Tehelka on the side berth. Time went on. I replied Nibul.

Me : This guy is oola[Dummo]. That will give us a way. Lets start.

Nibul : "I'm very bad at it. Pediya["m afraid].And I don't like the Mundu[Lungi] guy sitting next to u, he is Sheen's[one of our classmate. known critic!] bigger copy, and he expecting touchings from her? So u start, I'll support after I gain confidence.

I was thinking how to start. She was on phone. Earphones on. Last I found an idea. Ask where are these folks going. I started with the Mundu guy.

Me : Chetten engotta? [Where are you going]
Mundan : Palakkad.

me : [looking at her] Engotta?  
she : Took off the earphones and gestured "what?"
me : engotta pokunne? [Where are you going? ]
she : Bangalore. And she put the earphones back.

Me messaged to Nibul: If this mundu guy was not here, we could make it a heaven. And you, fatass, where were the support u promised. Fag**

Nibul : My support comes only after I "gain" about 60% confidence! Right now I have only 15% confi, and the mundu guy made me nervous. You have made a very good start! I never expected that!! Seriously! very good roomie!Good going! Cmon, will support you in short time. u can manage it.

I waited for a second chance. And she seemed to be very busy with mob. Nibul was buried deep under the Tiger feature. Dumbass. I got bored.

Me to her:  Are you studying there? in Bangalore?

she : No. I'm going for an interview.
I gave her a thumbs up.
She : Thank u

me: which company? 
she : [Told some company name.I didn't get it]

Me : What didya study? Engineer?
she : No. I studied Mass communication. 

me : here in ernamkulam?
she : No. In Hyderabad.

Me : Parents are working there? In Hyderabad?
she : No I went there for studying this.
me : woow. cool.

me : sorry. didn't ask you name.
she : Suman

Me : Where you are going to stay? In Bangalore.
she gave us a weired look

Me : I'm also working there in Bangalore. That's why asked.
she : J.P Nagar.

Me :That's close. I'm in BTM.
she : yeah. 
She put the earphones back. And looked out through the window. Time passed. I messaged Nibul.

Me : I don't think she'll hung up that call and if she do, I'm sure she'll keep that earphones on. So stop dreaming and think of ******. All the best.

Nibul : :) Ok. But if she does, you have a great chance. We are doing good. u r doing excellent! all the best roomie! All the best. you are good at this. Never expected 7/10.
Reading it I cursed myself for being his roommate for the last 3 years. Time went on. Stations passed. I felt sleepy.

Me : K. Fatass. I'm stopping it. U are a ****head. And she shows least interest in talking. Help Tigers. Screw yourself.

Nibul : Yes. Thank you! u attack her. I'll rescue her. I'll be the hero, U be the Villain. Who later turns to be  the hero's roomie and best friend, and very later be her BF!

I wanted to kill him. I looked at him. He remind me of the main character in Ice age anim. Thats how I managed it.

Nibul : This Mundu guy is trying to show his *** to her. Kallan. 
I noticed it. He was arranging his Mundu often. Revealing whatever inside. Knowingly or not!

At this time, the mundu guy started talking to her. It was about to reach thrissur. I got another sms.
Nibul : Haha the mundan will kill her after we get out! she will be praying for someone sensible to get in from thrissur. 

Train reached thrissur. I didn't want to say even bye to her. What kinda girl is this? Didn't even ask our names. That time Nibul stood up and told her.

Okie, All the best. [that's the only words came out from his mouth during the trip.]

me too: yeah all the best.
We got out of it and I was shouting at him, the train started moving. And her window came near us as we where walking along with it. She saw us and she smiled.

After one hour while I was in bus on my way home I got a message from Nibul. Which was sent one hour before. It said

"Don't forget to say bye and happy journey to her".
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